Katrina lessons for Joplin MO

Lately I've been thinking about Hurricane Katrina and the recent tornados in Joplin,
Missouri. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to lose everything, EVERYTHING! I know what it's like to lose things through a divorce, and because of circumstances. But an act of nature that I have no control over? I've always been responsible for my own failures or misfortunes. It was because of my choices I either made or refused to make that impacted my outcomes. Good and bad.
What must it be like to wake up one morning and know that I haven't got an extra pair of underwear to change into? What if I want a snack... no problem? Go to the cabinet and make a choice, right? I take for granted that I have clothes in my closet that will be there when I want to change into something more comfortable or fitting for an event that requires a different choice. What if I get cold and need a jacket? I take for granted that my toothbrush is in the same place I left it this morning. My car is in the garage where I parked it last night, yes? I may need it to go somewhere tomorrow, it has to be there!
It's fair to assume my child that was in the crib where I put him last night. But now he's missing and blown 2 miles south and landed in a field, ALONE. How does one process this crap? How do you find a rainbow in all this? How do you put one foot in front of the other and begin to build your life back? When does that start?
I don't know the answers, I can't imagine having to face this stuff. But I saw it up close and personal 5 years ago after Hurricane Katrina and i've never forgotten those images and the impact it made on me that day. It's all come back seeing the pictures of Joplin Missouri this past week.
I'll share...
5 years ago... the day after the hurricane in the gulf I was in touch with the Red Cross. I don't remember how that contact was made. Did they call me, did I call them? I forget.
They had asked me if I would take our big truck, a 14 box van to Denton to pick up 400 cots and transport them to the Reunion Center in downtown Dallas. It was the recieving station for the 10's of 1000's of refugees from the gulf states that would arrive throughout that day. They had no processing or accounting of who arrived, that would come later. These were evacuation busses. If there was a seat available you got on and would figure the rest out later. It was pure chaos~
Of course I agreed and off I went. Once I got to Denton, they loaded me up and I headed south on I-35 back into the city. That's where it got interesting.
The traffic coming into Dallas was impossible. Every freeway downtown was at a standstill from every direction. 100's of buses coming in from the south, people coming downtown to donate food, clothing, supplies, ANYTHING! All these good intentioned people were causing more problems by their willingness to help . They were sitting in traffic for 3 hours to donate 3 cases of water, 100 bottles!!! It was impossible to sit home and do nothing. Others had loaded their BBQ's and emptied their freezers. All they were looking for was a place to park and set up their little cafe, hoping to feed hungry, displaced people that were desparate, starving, scared and in some cases literally half naked. On the driveway into the arena, there must of been a 100 BBQ set-ups of people just trying to feed the masses. Trying to DO SOMETHING~ The smell from the BBQ's unfortunately didn't cover up the greasy slimey smell that was overwhelming. The smell was on the people! They were ALL covered in a greasy goop and the smell was dreadful. Add to this some babies had been in the same diapers for 24 hours by this time. It was NOT pleasant.
You had to be there to fully understand what was going on. The evacuees were in shock, the looks on their faces were blank of any emotion. I bet if you asked them today what happened on that day most would draw a blank. They were physically present, but emotional absent. Even the little babies were silent. Among 10,000's of people, including many small children and infants you hardly heard a cry. They were numb.
Back to my adventure with the cots..... After working my way through the traffic nightmare and gaining a "emergency pass" for my truck I was led onto the floor of the arena. They had asked me to drive into the arena where I'd be met by more Red Cross volunteers ready to unload me and get me back on my way to get another 400 cots. So, I snake my big ass boy truck onto the floor of the Reunion Center, through the massive amounts of cots and bodies. They'd clear a path for the trucks and as soon as we'd pass the voids would fill up again behind us. Floor space was a premium and the competition to claim 10 sq feet was fast and furious. Didn't they think that we'd need to remove the trucks at some point? Needless to say, we had to follow the same process to get out.
While I was inside, what I saw will forever change my thinking.
I had about 45-60 minutes to kill while the truck was unloaded and readied to leave. I wandered around and was beyond sad and overwhelmed at the sheer scope of this human disaster. The Reunion Center was a mass of humanity, dirty and broken.
I saw people as I described earlier, in shock, devoid of emotion, hurt, injured, and butt ugly dirty!! They smelled and they knew it.
I went into the ladies restroom and that's where it hit me hardest. Women were in various stages of dress. Some women had pants on. Others had no pants, but had traveled for 8-10 hours on a bus in their underwear. One women had a bra on and had no shirt. She'd traveled like that. Many were naked, trying desparately to wash their underwear out in the sink to put it back on. Others had one leg up on the sink trying to erase the oily gunge that was in every creak and cranny of their bodies. Since the bathroom had no soap left, it was a losing battle and they knew it. It smeared but wouldn't wash off.
Some of these women had injuries where they'd been hurt by debrie. There were alot of cuts and scrapes that had been in dirty nasty water for hours. I imagine some of them would require hefty medical attention before long for their wounds, but the first aid station wasn't up and running yet. It would be a busy place soon.
Right about then something happened that made all of it a little less ugly. The officials started unloading the massive amounts of "stuff" that had been brought downtown and collected around the city. They set up a number of long tables and dumped 100's of boxes of soap, toothbrushes, shampoo, tampons, deodorant, diapers, etc. These women, that moments before seemed defeated began to cry over bottles of soap, tampons, and the simplest of items that we all take for granted. They grabbed equally at half used bars of soap, half full bottles of shampoo. Half used boxes of Kotex were gone in a snap. It was the little things..... Nobody cared that some things were new and packaged nicely. It was soap and exactly what they needed. These woman could now attempt to get cleaned up some. Of course they'd have to put dirty clothes back on, but they had some control of their circumstances. Baby steps.
I've never known what it is like to need something I can't go get. What is it like to need something, REALLY REALLY NEED IT and not have the ability to get it? I don't know. I try to imagine that, but it's difficult to know where to start to feel something so foreign.
If I want something, I will work harder to get it. I will save until I can have it. I will simply get in my car and go buy it. Isn't that how it works? I've never been hungry, or needed something I can't get. Seldom do I not get what I want either. I've never had to rely on someone to feed me, clothe me, provide my basic needs. Dopey stuff like my feminine hygiene products, stuff you never think about but take for granted. These women had NO control of anything. They had no food, no soap, no water, no money and even if they did, they had nowhere to spend it. They had NOTHING and no ability to get it! They didn't have clothes to put on to go shopping. I've never gone shopping in my panties, or with out a shirt. Is it even allowed?
That day these women were at the mercy of people who gave. Or didn't?
I have never forgotten that lesson. Yes, I was very irritated with all those people clogging the freeways trying to donate 100 small bottles of water. What were they thinking?? There are bigger needs and you people are in the way! MOVE!!! I'm guilty of thinking that on that day. Can't you see that your contribution is too small to bother with? This problem is massive and you want to drive 30 miles to donate 100 small bottles of water?? Hmmmpth!! Grrrrrr.
I watched as Walmart pulled up trailer after trailer of food. They'd open up the back and a line a mile long would form. So what that these trucks were full of soda pop, cupcakes, bags of candy and baked goods, chips, all processed food? People were simply hungry and whatever Walmart threw together, fed them. At the time I was a bit critical of Walmart. COME ON WALMART!! You are big shots, you can spare some fruit, some milk, something besides processed food and crap! All over that arena you'd see small children clutching their bag of chips and a 2 litre bottle of pop. It was crap food , but it was food and some of these people hadn't eaten in over 36 hours by then.
I take back all that bad stuff I said about Walmart that day. They knew there was no refridgeration, no storage, no organization to create meals. They simply found a way to get food in those bellies. Soon trailers from Albertsons, Tom Thumb and Kroger showed up. These trailers were packed full of food to help people from being hungry, at least for a while till processes could be set up to feed the masses in some sort of organized way.
Diapers were in good supply again thanks to those trailers. Formula was available for moms who were too stressed to nurse. People brought bottles and pacifiers. Toilet paper, kleenex, chap-stick, OTCantibiotic stuff. Some people brought balls to play with, color books to keep small children distracted and occupied. Clothes began to build in huge piles, used clothes but it was welcome. A bottle of Advil was like gold.
All this happened within about 40-50 minutes.
To all those people who I thought was in the way and whose contribution wasn't worth the inconvience they created with their 100 small bottles of water, I apologize. I am certain that every one of those bottles of water was drunk and appreciated. I better understand your "need" to do something. I felt it too. I was just snotty enough to think my contribution was more important than yours that day.
I hope that people today feel the need to "do something". The people of Joplin need us to "do something". Everyone of us! Send a check to the Red Cross, take a half empty bottle of body wash to a collection site. SOMETHING!! ANYTHING!
Look at those pictures of Joplin, MO again, and again. Imagine how (or if) you'd put one foot in front of the other if you didn't know where your kin were.... dead, alive? Your house, full of your treasures and soap, shampoo, toothpaste, your clothes, coats, car, medicine is now blown across 7 miles and you may never see any of it again.
Every little bit helps. Even 100 small bottles of water.
Karen

does it work this time?

trying to post to Facebook, with little sucess

Mel Gibson is dirt!!

I've been pretty sick the last week or so so i've had ALOT of time to just lay around and watch TV. The constant coverage of the Mel Gibson tapes has dominated the airwaves during the day lately.
I'm conflicted on how I think about his "tapes". I'm not conflicted in that I hate what he said. I find it beyond offensive and won't EVER spend $ to buy a ticket or rent a movie of his. I can't believe that he was such a great actor that I used to think he was one of the "good guys". Married for 30 years, 37 children by the same woman, blah blah blah.....
This has all brought up thoughts I haven't had to challenge in forever. Do I think of people in terms of their color? Their ethnicity? Their lot in life? I try not to. Are their old biases that may creep in when I'm not paying attention? Yeah, probably. But I will admit to be ashamed once it happens.
My world is richer for knowing people of all colors and ethnicities. I say that, knowing I live in "white bread" North Dallas where conformity and sameness is revered. There aren't that many opportunities around here to have alot of varied expereinces, but they are available.
I listened to Mel Gibson rant about groups of people as if they were soo far less than him. He expressed hatred for people simply because they belonged to a group that he deemed less than worthy. It was an ugly deep seated gut-rot hatred!
Of course we (or at least I) know that this thinking exists, but it's rare that we see it soo raw and exposed.
It was easier to identify these bigots when they wore white coned hats. Perhaps that should be the penalty Mel gets for threatening his girlfriend and beating on her. 30 days in a white coned hat while bagging groceries for the old ladies at the local Piggly Wiggly.
It makes me wonder where that deep seated bigotry comes from and will be ever be free of it?
I look at my kids..... I don't think they even see color like we did when I was younger. It doesn't occur to them that there may be repercussions for bringing home a black friend. Or a Mexican friend. I would of thought twice. OK, maybe 3-4 times and probably then remembered it wouldn't be a good idea. It was a different time.
Another thing that caused me angst this week with regard to the same MG issue.... Many "talking heads" wondered why the girlfriend would stay if he was so ugly to her? SERIOUSLY?? We are still having this discussion?? I was afraid for my TV today. It was in danger.
If I heard one more person/man say " If it was so bad....why did she stay?" I was going to have to reach thru the tv screen and pull his testicles out thru his ears!!!!!
Sometimes women HAVE to stay. At least until they can leave. Some have to save $. Some have to have a safe exit strategy. Others have kids to be concerned about. Insurance for a chronic illness?? WHO KNOWS!!! But these people asking why she stays??? UGH!! I almost lost it a few times today.
Whether it's race issues, or compassion for people in difficult circumstances I wish we were kinder. And more helpful.
Mel Gibson..... You don't owe me an explanation, but i'd hate to be you the day you meet your maker. It may be an uncomfortable day for you, Pal.
I'm going to try to "go organic".

Today was not a good day~

Grrrr... today was not a good day! I had to go for the deposition for an auto accident I had almost 3 years ago. (Nov 4, 2007) I was rear-ended and had some injuries to my left wrist, elbow and shoulder. 2 surgeries so far and another one to be done shortly. It's been a pain in the neck (pun intended).
Most of you know me, I'm pretty easy going and it takes ALOT to get me riled up. For the most part I've been a happy camper thru the last 2+ years. OK OK OK , I've whined abit and had occaissional bout of pissiness, but for the most part I've done what I've been told, when I've been told to do it, and my follow-thru was explemplary.
Many Dr's have been willing to treat me and do these surgeries with no payment yet, understanding that I was rear-ended and the case would eventually settle. UGH UGH UGH!!
So back to this morning.... I show up. The hitter's atty is there, the court reporter and my atty. Everyone exchanged pleasantries and the deposition began.
The questioning began...... What happened, where were you, which direction were you facing. Were you on drugs, drunk, on the phone. NO, HELL NO!!! What are/were your injuires, dates of your surgeries, names of the Dr's, therapists, etc. All very pleasantly asked by the hitters defense atty with a smile. I was really beginning to like her.
It all lasted a few hours, not too bad. I had been warned it might go 6 hours.
The last question the hitter's defense atty asked me was, "have I been pleasant and polite in conducting this deposition? Yeah, you you've been very polite and considerate, I say. She thanked me. I thanked her back.
One final question she says.......... What would your response be if my client says he never hit you? There was no "accident"?
GRRRRRRRRR... She hit my achilles heel, my sore spot! You may not like what I say, and you may not like how I say it. But don't ever assume I have lied to you. I don't lie!!
Will I tell you that the blouse looks good when it makes you look like a plum on steroids? Yeah, maybe if I know it would hurt your feelings. But I wouldn't say, "It's spectacular, you should of bought it in 3 colors!" I am not beyond trying to spare your feelings if it can be helped. But sometimes the truth is hurtful and neccesary.
The idea that I'd lie about being in a traffic accident 3 years ago and continue a "charade" is beyond explanation. That I'd take advantage of the kindness of Dr's to perform surgeries and trick them into treating me for something that didn't happen ticked me off!! I AM NOT LYING! and for her to insinuate that I am was beyond my limit.
Would I make up crap to hurt you, or take advantage of you. NO, HELL NO!!!
You can call me names, you can judge my character, you can avoid me if i'm unpleasant, but don't EVER call me a liar!!
I would of liked to rip her tonsils out thru her nostrils this morning. And it takes ALOT to rile me up.
Considering that I was never in this accident, you know... the one that never happened?... I wish someone could explain the injuries to me and why I have this chronic pain.
You may not like what I say, but I don't lie. More than that, I don't like the assumption that I do. I have given up very dear relationships where I was lied to. I have no need for liars in my life. I wouldn't even have a relationship with me, if i lied. How's that?
For many years I lied to everyone. Mostly I lied to myself. I'm done with that!! I can deal with any truth. ANY TRUTH!! I can't deal with ANY lies! And for all my efforts I refuse to be called a liar by ANYONE!! Even the hitter's defense atty who can make my life hell with a poor outcome of this trial.
Today was not a good day!
Tomorrow will be better, i'm sure.
I will write a happy blog tomorrow when this one has been forgotten.
I don't like to eat much meat.

It's Memorial Day. I have alot of random thots about today. I am very grateful to those I never met who paid the ultimate price for me. They never met me, and probably never even knew I existed but they paid that same price for me as they paid for their own Mom or sister. They paid the ultimate price so I could sit here and type anything I want. I can be ugly and critical of our goverment, and with their life they paid the cost so that I won't get hauled off by thugs in the middle of the night who think I have committed a crime if i don't spout the "party line". I'm free to sit here and be a jerk if i wanted to. I don't.
Personally, I don't know anyone that died in service to us. But a very dear girlfriend, Carol lost her husband Chris Braun in the first Gulf War. He was a pilot in the South China sea when his plane went down. I always think of her and her daughters on Memorial Day. It's got to be a difficult day for them and I will remember them in my prayers. Not only did Chris lose his life, but Carol lost a beloved husband and her daughters lost a lifetime to know their Dad. It's as close as I come to personally grieving for the soldiers that gave it all so that I can be a jerk if i want to.

I stole the following quirp from Debbie's facebook post, it was worth the crime....
"If you are able, save for them a place inside of you and save one backward glance when you are leaving for the places they can no longer go."-Major Michael O'Donnell- In remembrance of those who gave all.

Years ago during the floods in NW WA where I lived at the time I was a Red Cross volunteer. My job was to help the people that had lost EVERYTHING to the wild rivers to get beds, new underwear, some clothes to wear, diapers, formula, basic toiletries and what ever they needed to at least survive until things could be sorted out.
I remember a man that came to sit at my desk. We introduced ourselves and I asked him how I could help him the most that day. He was stoic, and brave (or maybe it was excessive pride, I can't be sure) but he told me that during the night the river had risen so fast and they were evacuated quickly. Just as they were evacuated the river took his shack and tossed it into the river along with his leg. It was his prostestic leg. He was a Vet and it was the only fake leg he had. He told me of the fight he'd had with the VA administraion to get that one. They had told him he didn't qualify for a leg, even tho he'd left his REAL leg in Vietnam. If I remember right, the story got a bit complicated. Something about he was "eligible" for a replacement leg only every 10 years? He'd had to fight hard to get this leg and was very scared that he'd not get a replacement for the one the river took.
Thru the process I learned about his living conditions. He lived in a shack upriver with no electricity. He ran an electrical cord from a neighbor's house a few hours a night, (with approval) and lived a very meager life up there in the woods separated from the community.
We will never know why he chose to live up there, or like that....... But I remember the heartache I felt when he explained how he lost his leg. I remember that he was proud of his service in Vietnam and I remember that I was sad for the way he was treated in return. Our Veterans should not be homeless, they shouldn't have to fight for the medical treaments, psychological services or the financial assistance needed when they are called up to serve us. We can and should do better by these people. They earned it and we will be defined by how we treat them.
I remember a Pastor telling us years ago that when that day comes that we meet our Maker it won't matter who we prayed to, what prayers we recited, if we went to church each week but we will be judge by how we treated the less, the lost, the lame and those left behind. I think this is exactly what he was talking about.
To all those servicemen that fought the fight so that I could sit here and be a jerk if i wanted to ( i don't) I offer my grateful appreciation. I wish I had more to give you.

Welcome to my blog.....

HI EVERYONE! I'm joining the world of bloggers for a number of reasons! I have alot to say and I really think your lives will be better for hearing my thots. :0) It's just the kind of friend I am, ya know!! Besides....somedays while doing my work or driving I get these thots. They are random and often not connected to anything particular, but they drive me nutty. They stick in my head and won't go away. They stay with me thru the night and often are still there in the morning when I wake up and I'm stuck with them until they are replaced with a new, often random thot. SOOOO... I thot if i could give them a forum or a vehicle to get out of my head and onto a screen they would leave me alone sooner. It's worth a try, right?
Some days I will also share with you stuff that makes my life richer (or more comical). Things you might enjoy or would miss if you didn't know I told you. For example......Kim bought lunch at Whataburger today and while that isn't news shattering it made me happy! It was only the 3rd hamburger I've had in almost 3 years!! IT WAS NEWS!! And yummy!
But mostly today I am preoccupied with the oil mess in the gulf! For years I've been aware of the enviroment and our effect on it. Not real aware, but aware enough where I know that littering is bad, putting oil down the gutter is frowned upon. I know that the six pack rings hurt the dolphins and that I shouldn't pee in the ocean.
When I shop, I try to be careful about the products I buy. Bio-degradeable this, Eco-friendly that. I do what I can as one person. I was always pretty proud of myself for recyling (but lately I've been real lazy).
When I watch the news and see that oil spewing and the vast amount of chemicals dumped in the ocean to "help" the problem it makes me sad. It makes me sad that I didn't think more of the oceans before this. That I didn't pay more attention to them before they needed our help to heal. Will they ever heal? What about the people of the Gulf that depend on these seas for their livihood and life style? And the Pelicans!! I wish I had the power to make it ok for them. I wish we didn't have this crappy dependence on oil!
I love Maya Angelou's poetry. Till next time, Karen