Success? What is it? What do you do with it? How do you know if you reach "it"?
What if we aren't sucessful yet, but just more successful than we were and this looks like it because we have moved far off the bottom.
For 14 years I've always been able to pay the bills. Sometimes during the rough spots it wouldn't be on time, but they always got paid. To cope with those trying times I adopted the notion that due dates were merely suggestions. It was easier that way. That way if someone called me, pissy about a late payment I could say to them, "whatchu gettin' all fussy about?? It will get there soon, or soonish. It's not late, it's just not there on your suggested due date. CHILL~" Some saw my humor, others not so much~ Oh well...
These aren't times where success is a word bantered around much. I've been a bit tentative to even think much on it because I understand so many are still struggling in these current conditions. It is not lost on me that we are an exception in our industry , rather than a rule right now. It's also not lost on me that it could all change tomorrow and we'd back where we were 3 years ago.
But back to my question.....How do you define success? How do you know when you reach it? Are there levels of success 2..5..10??? Can you claim to reach "it" if you are only on level 1? Is that dopey and disengenious?
We've worked very hard. VERY HARD. We've all brought a different skill set to the equation. I don't really think we'd be anywhere near here if any one of those components were absent. We've made a good team. Not always a cohesive or happy team, but we've been a true team none the less.
I spend a lot of time on this question. I think I just need a marker of sorts to say HERE... ON THIS SPOT is success. Back there was UNSUCCESS. I need to know where that line is now. When do you cross over? I feel sorta like I'm running a race but there is no finish line. You just keep running and doing your best, but there is no where to say FINISHED... i.e.. reached success.
I think even a conceptual finish line would help me. Because once you cross the finish line you can assess your time? Did you do well? Beat your previous race? Is there potential for improvement? Did you run a good race, were you a good sport and run a fair race? There don't seem to be any markers to assess your success. One day your just wake up and declare it?
That doesn't make sense! It needs to be more tangible somehow.
I try to think of all the things that have helped make us ***that word*** and some of it is nothing but luck! There isn't an ice cubes chance in hell that we'd be this far if I had birthed normal size GIRLS!! In fact I doubt we'd even be a blip on the screen if I'd birthed girls at all. Chances aren't great they'd of been normal size anyways, but still.....
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Choosing how you die is the ultimate liberty.
Jack Kervorkian died today. I doubt there is anyone over 21 that doesn't recognize his name. Dr Kevorkian fought hard for our right to the greatest liberty of all. Choosing how we die.
I've been furious at the radio today. Unfortunately here in DFW there aren't alot of varied talk radio stations. They all suck! They are all card carrying conservatives/republicans on the airways here. I'm not.
Today on the radio most of the discussion was spent assailing Dr Kevorkian, this man who fought for MY right to decide when I've had enough or when MY pain has become unbearable/uncontrollable. Dr Kevorkian fought for MY choice to decide when the end is welcomed.
These same "conservatives" have no problem taking a life when we call it "war". It seems to be ok if we take someone elses live, but to take our own.....OH NO~ that's unacceptable? Against the rules of nature? Yeah, maybe, but so is killing someone else because you think they are wrong or in your way for political reasons. Innocent bystanders, women and children are killed in wars all the time, but it's ok because it's a necessary evil of war. Shit happens, right??
We are allowed to take our own life as long as we do it according to the rules. We can buy cigarettes as long as the state can make a profit on it. It's a slow death and sanctioned by the state, but a certain death according to the statistics. That's different~
We can buy alcohol or drugs and kill ourselves that way as long as they are taxed. Legalized and taxed seems to be the key. Quick and intentional is not. That's different.
I bet suicide would be legalized if we could find a way to tax it. By the way, Suicide is illegal?? What moron spent time and money to pass that bill?? The penalty to kill yourself is what? A Fine? Jail time? Community service? Geeesh! What a waste of time and ink to write that law. DOPES!!
Why is it ok and morally acceptable to euthanize a dog if the pain and quality of life has become untolerable and we are convinced that it is in the dog's best interest? How do we square that? My vet recently told me that we may need to consider Abby's "quality of life and our ability to control her pain". Euthanasia might need to be considered, he said. That's different~
Somehow we are able to extend compassion to an animal but deny it for ourselves and our loved ones. That's different?
I appreciate all Dr Kevorkian tried to accomplish for us. I know the costs were high and I hope he knew his efforts were appreciated. He fought to bring dignity to the deathbed.
I may never choose this option. I pray I never need to. But would I want that choice to be mine? ABSOLUTELY!
For those that tell me it's against the will of God. I will work out the details with Him on my judgement day. I will ask Him how come it's ok to kill someone else? How come it's justified for all those different reasons we've accumulated..... war, death penalty, cost overrides...? How come it's ok when it's done "for cause". But not when it's by MY choice?
I don't understand that hypocrisy. I don't think I want to understand it. I don't like it. I don't like the rationalization that it requires. I think it blows!
Dr Kevorkian died in a hospital, hooked up to machines. It was probably his worse nightmare and I think it's fair to assume against his wishes. I read that he was too weak and unable to protest in the end. A sad irony.
Let this be my warning to everyone!! Don't pull that shit on me! If I can't talk or participate in my own end care...... and you'all leave me hooked up to a bunch of wires and crap, i'll come back to haunt the livin' daylights out of you! GOT IT???
Dr Kevorkian may not of been sucessful in the end to change the laws and how we think about death. But we certainly know who he is and what he believed. I respect that about him.
I've been furious at the radio today. Unfortunately here in DFW there aren't alot of varied talk radio stations. They all suck! They are all card carrying conservatives/republicans on the airways here. I'm not.
Today on the radio most of the discussion was spent assailing Dr Kevorkian, this man who fought for MY right to decide when I've had enough or when MY pain has become unbearable/uncontrollable. Dr Kevorkian fought for MY choice to decide when the end is welcomed.
These same "conservatives" have no problem taking a life when we call it "war". It seems to be ok if we take someone elses live, but to take our own.....OH NO~ that's unacceptable? Against the rules of nature? Yeah, maybe, but so is killing someone else because you think they are wrong or in your way for political reasons. Innocent bystanders, women and children are killed in wars all the time, but it's ok because it's a necessary evil of war. Shit happens, right??
We are allowed to take our own life as long as we do it according to the rules. We can buy cigarettes as long as the state can make a profit on it. It's a slow death and sanctioned by the state, but a certain death according to the statistics. That's different~
We can buy alcohol or drugs and kill ourselves that way as long as they are taxed. Legalized and taxed seems to be the key. Quick and intentional is not. That's different.
I bet suicide would be legalized if we could find a way to tax it. By the way, Suicide is illegal?? What moron spent time and money to pass that bill?? The penalty to kill yourself is what? A Fine? Jail time? Community service? Geeesh! What a waste of time and ink to write that law. DOPES!!
Why is it ok and morally acceptable to euthanize a dog if the pain and quality of life has become untolerable and we are convinced that it is in the dog's best interest? How do we square that? My vet recently told me that we may need to consider Abby's "quality of life and our ability to control her pain". Euthanasia might need to be considered, he said. That's different~
Somehow we are able to extend compassion to an animal but deny it for ourselves and our loved ones. That's different?
I appreciate all Dr Kevorkian tried to accomplish for us. I know the costs were high and I hope he knew his efforts were appreciated. He fought to bring dignity to the deathbed.
I may never choose this option. I pray I never need to. But would I want that choice to be mine? ABSOLUTELY!
For those that tell me it's against the will of God. I will work out the details with Him on my judgement day. I will ask Him how come it's ok to kill someone else? How come it's justified for all those different reasons we've accumulated..... war, death penalty, cost overrides...? How come it's ok when it's done "for cause". But not when it's by MY choice?
I don't understand that hypocrisy. I don't think I want to understand it. I don't like it. I don't like the rationalization that it requires. I think it blows!
Dr Kevorkian died in a hospital, hooked up to machines. It was probably his worse nightmare and I think it's fair to assume against his wishes. I read that he was too weak and unable to protest in the end. A sad irony.
Let this be my warning to everyone!! Don't pull that shit on me! If I can't talk or participate in my own end care...... and you'all leave me hooked up to a bunch of wires and crap, i'll come back to haunt the livin' daylights out of you! GOT IT???
Dr Kevorkian may not of been sucessful in the end to change the laws and how we think about death. But we certainly know who he is and what he believed. I respect that about him.
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